Koa smiled and looked sad at the same time. Zeke laughed a little too loud, I thought. Koa got his on first and paddled around the things fastest, but he did not put his foot all the way through his wetsuit leg and Football Guy informed him that he was disqualified. Did you know that? The competitors struggled mightily, grunting and groaning and falling over themselves. Perhaps this is because I grew up surfing in cold water, but I was not aware that putting on a wetsuit was one of the hardest things in surfing. It was a relatively simple task - paddle to a few floating things, duck dive under them, paddle to a dock, put on a wetsuit, then paddle around a few more things. The surfers were going to do vaguely football-related things, which Football Guy called a “surfing combine.” Because he’s a football guy! I wondered whether Joe caught it on the first try, but I doubted it. Then the football guy who I apparently should know showed up and threw a football to Joe Turpel, who sat backwards on the back of a Jet Ski. The contestants decided they would go for it, because apparently they hadn’t been going for it already. Filipe watched and gave advice about doing airs.
#Ultimate surfer how to#
Toledo, who missed out on a world championship the same day the show aired, was there to tell them how to do airs. Koa Smith stared back, as did Zeke Lau, Kai Barger, Tia Blanco, Malia Ward, and Brianna Cope. The surfing took the pole position!įilipe Toledo showed up, pterygium-filled eyes yellowed like an alcoholic’s, squinting at the leftover contestants. It was simply reality television, based more around the characters than what the characters were actually doing on a wave. A legless torso of a show, but a show nonetheless. The show needs it to stand up on its own, but it could’ve been a show without it. The surfing part… that was more like a leg. The women talking shit about each other was the ribcage. The challenges felt like the spine of the show.
See, before this episode, the surfing felt secondary. That’s not to say I don’t like it - it’s just to say that now I have two things to be interested in, which really throws a wrench in my previous recaps, like this one, which I called “ So Many Faces In So Many Butts!” I do not know what I like best about the show anymore. Anastasia hates everyone except Malia? Do tell! Malia hates Tia? Oooh, tell me more! Malia also hates Brianna? Go on! Alas, I was to be disappointed. I thought I cared about the personal dramas within the show. I thought that it wasn’t the surfing I cared about. When I sat down on the couch last night for the second-to-last episode of The Ultimate Surfer, I thought I knew what to expect.
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